Misconceptions

Because funerals and funeral services are a subject unfamiliar to most people, there are some common misconceptions that can arise. Our goal is to provide you with accurate and honest information, so you have the information you need to make important and fair decisions.
The following information is an excerpt from Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies by internationally noted author, educator, and grief counselor Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. Dr. Wolfelt serves as Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and is on the faculty at the University of Colorado Medical School's Department of Family Medicine.
  • Funerals are too expensive.

    The social, psychological and emotional benefits of authentic funerals far outweigh their financial costs. Besides, a funeral needn’t be lavishly expensive to be meaningful.

  • Funerals make us too sad.

    When someone loved dies, we need to be sad. Funerals provide us with a safe place in which to embrace our pain.

  • Funerals are barbaric.

    On the contrary, meaningful funeral ceremonies are civilized, social binding rituals. Some people think that viewing the body is barbaric. Cultural differences aside, viewing has many benefits for survivors.

  • Funerals are inconvenient.

    Taking a few hours out of your week to demonstrate your love for the person who died and your support for survivors is not an inconvenience but a privilege.

  • Funerals require the body to be embalmed.

    Not necessarily. Depending on local regulations, funerals held shortly after the death may require no special means of preservation.

  • Funerals and cremation are mutually exclusive.

    A funeral (with or without the body present) may be held prior to cremation. Embalmed bodies are often cremated.

  • Funerals are only for religious people.

    Not true. Non-religious ceremonies (which, by the way, need not be held in a church or officiated by a clergy person) can still meet the survivor’s mourning needs.

  • Funerals are rote and meaningless.

    They needn’t be. With forethought and planning, funerals can and should be personalized rituals reflecting the uniqueness of the bereaved family.

  • Funerals should reflect what the deceased person wanted.

    While pre-planning your funeral may help you reconcile yourself to your own mortality, funerals are primarily for the benefit of the living.

  • Funerals are only for grown-ups.

    Anyone old enough to love is old enough to mourn. Children, too, have the right and the privilege to attend funerals.